The Beauty of the Unexpected Motherhood Journey with Mompreneur Haili Murch

May 21, 2021 | Motherhood

Everyone’s motherhood journey is unique and different, but I bet you that most of us can relate to the fact that most of our journeys are unexpected. Things get thrown at us like we never could have imagined.

I knew I always wanted to be a mom. Part of that is probably due to the fact that I have an amazing mom as a great example. She was everything you picture a mom to be. Smart, loving, selfless, always there for me. I only remember my mom working a job outside of the home once when we were little to help my dad through school.

But other than that short time, she was home. She was always there for us. Since I saw the value in having a mother and a mother who was at home, I just knew that was what I was going to do one day too. And coming from a faith that believes a lot in families…I grew up preparing to be a mom. In all seriousness, being a mom was all I ever really wanted.

As I went to college and learned more about myself and my interests, I knew that there were things, like music and other hobbies, that I would want a part of my life even after I had kids. I just pictured that I would write songs and have babies and everything would just be perfect! Oh how little did I really know.

My husband and I had our first son while my husband was finishing his bachelor’s degree and I was working a full time job. It was a crazy time to have a baby. I was expecting some things when it came to pregnancy and having a baby. But until you’re really in it, you just don’t know how it feels. I was so over being pregnant by the end. When I had my son, he was delivered with forceps. Also not expected. But it all went so quick. After 18 hours of your body being thrown the ringer, you are just wiped. And then they hand you your baby and are like, here ya go! You’re a parent now. It all started so fast.

I would say that after having my first I went through a lot of adjustments and transition to being a new mom. It was much harder than I expected. All of it…breastfeeding, the lack of sleep, my body being all stretched out, and smelling like baby milk all the time. I struggled, but I was able to get out of it because we had a lot of support with our first and I was laser focused on taking care of myself.

My second child…rocked me. More than the first. Although my initial labor and delivery was significantly more pleasant that second time, I got hit with postpartum depression bad. I was in denial for months that anything was actually wrong with me. After 3 months, I decided to go to therapy and then after 3 more months, I got on medication. It took me a long time to accept I needed professional help and just help in general from our friends and family. But I knew it was important to talk to people about what I was going through. Luckily I was able to get through the worst of it. With that support, it started to get better.

In a just a matter of a few years, we had moved 3 times across the country to different states, had two kiddos, and my husband did a masters and landed his first job. We went through a lot in a short amount of time and I never had time to gather myself. I never had time to get back to the way that I was. Making time for myself became a huge part of getting better and back to who I was.

I am a big believer in self-care for moms. I do not believe self care is selfish. In fact, it was self care, that got me through the darkest times. We need breaks. We need space to be alone. We need space to create. We need time to take care of our bodies. And this will all look different at different seasons and times in our mom lives. You give so much to your kiddos. You can give them so much more by showing them how to take care of yourself. They will appreciate your example of self-care.

If you get one thing out of this post….it’s that you are doing better than you think and to keep going. Some days you will be so wiped and tired…that the TV may be on more than you like to admit. Some days…you’ll get your hair and makeup done and be looking and feeling like Rockstar super mom. Other days…it’s mom bun and yoga pants cause you just hate the idea of putting on jeans. Some days you’ll get sick kiddos and you can’t leave the house for days because everything you do is around other kiddos and you don’t want them to get more sick or cause some other mom to be trapped all day.

Motherhood is hard. But so rewarding. Your role as a mom is unlike anything anyone else can do, because you were made for your child.

Mamas…don’t give up. Don’t give up today. Don’t give up tomorrow. Your motherhood journey will continue to be unexpected. I can say that up to this point, a lot of my motherhood journey is nothing like I expected. But I am so grateful and blessed for the littles I have and the things I have learned. Own who you are as a mom and outside of a mom. The world needs you. Your motherhood journey will shape lives and change the world.

About the Author

Haili Murch is the mom of 2 boys. She started her own virtual assistant business about a year ago. She hosts a podcast called THIS is Legit Motherhood which is all about the real raw things moms go through. Her podcast was started to help be a safe place moms could talk and relate on the real day to day struggles we go through. She does not want any mom out there to feel alone! She is also a podcast manager and helps people become podcasts managers.

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