Am I a Bad Mom for Grieving My Child With Disabilities with Mompreneur Joy Bourn Smith

May 21, 2021 | Motherhood

Dream big, little one. One of many things we first think of when we find out we’re expecting a baby.  We as mamas are the promoters, encouragers and keepers of our little ones’ dreams.

But what happens when those hopes and dreams drastically change? How do we, the dream keepers and encouragers, cope? As a mom what am I suppose to feel? All of these questions are real and valid.

As a mother of an Intellectually Disabled child who is now an adult, those questions became very real for me and there are no simple answers.  What I do know from dealing with the changes in hopes and dreams is that it is okay to grieve the child and dreams you thought were going to be.

Grieve without guilt because this child’s new hope, dreams and reality needs us to be open and ready to celebrate and encourage. Because of your new openness you become a stronger woman of love and the real challenges are accepted and embraced.

This child will teach you about love, hopefulness and dreams. The daily lessons will be better than any parenting class or book can offer. Their love will imprint on your heart in ways you didn’t know were possible.

Trust me, this child will teach you as much as you will teach them.

Grieve what might have been and then love openly, fully and differently than you could have ever imagined.

A woman dancing with her husband with her intellectually disabled adult child in the background laughing

About the author:

Joy Bourn Smith is a mom of 3 adult children, one of who is intellectually disabled. When she had found out his diagnosis she felt guilty for being sad until a friend gave her permission to grieve. Once she was able to grieve, she was able to move past it and embrace him for all of his wonderful qualities. Joy is a Mompreneur who sells fun barware in local shops around Spokane, Washington. 

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